The constant noise of contemporary life makes it easy to miss the most profound message the world has ever known: Jesus loves you. Innovative teachers Craig Gross and Jason Harper will separate the religious from the real as they show how this simple truth is worth our undivided attention. The authors weave Jesus' narrative with their own stories of serving among the "least of these" in this inspiring summons to world-changing faith. Join them as they encounter shut-ins, drunks, inmates, porn stars, and others while striving to follow Christ in their daily lives.
Out the Backdoor?
It’s alarming when you really grasp the numbers. Recently I stumbled across a statistic that explained the fact that many people no longer find value in being involved with a church or faith-based community. What used to be common for Christians was involvement in a weekend service. Today that assumption can’t be made. According to the stat, a third group has emerged to stand alongside the “churched and unchurched.” It is the “once-churched.” Essentially, it is a group of people who at one time (in their adulthood) attended regularly but for whatever reason stopped going. I am interested in the “whatever reason.”
I asked some who I know. Some said the cost of going was higher than the reward of going. The “once-churched” I talked to described a list of do’s and don’ts, early start times, cliques, irrelevant teachings, and lack of trust as the reasons they decided to skip out on going to a church. When I pressed further it came down to trust. They did not trust that it would be worth their time, energy and effort to attend, yet maintained their value of spirituality.
The “once-churched” number are in the millions. Many slipped out the church’s back door and nobody realized they were gone. No one called. No one reached out. It only further reinforced their perceptions. Bitter and feeling betrayed in their heart, most still wanted to connect with God; just not at the church. Sad. These are good people.
What would happen if every church poured over their attender’s list and identified the people who were no longer there? What if they called, sent a card, letter, or dropped by to say, “We completely missed it. We are SORRY that we failed you. We need to get better at what we do. We don’t expect you to attend here, but please consider finding some place to reconnect?” What would happen?
It is not about increasing attendance. It is about being a peace maker to those who are offended, bitter, broken, and betrayed.
If you read this and it described your experience, on behalf of pastoral leadership and clergy, we want to say we are sorry. If trust has been broken, please forgive the person, pastor, or church community that failed you. They just missed it and though they have not said it, they miss you. Try it again. Try a new place. Consider connecting again. It may sooth the soul.
Much hope and more love,
Jason
Comments
Hey Jason, Yes I would be in the category of the once churched. Although I wouldn't normally think of it like that, but I appreciated your heart. I like to be deep and think of it as being in transition! :) It's sort of like not having a job, or being out of work. Things happen, and times like that can be for any number of reasons.
You wrote that you want to know about the reason. I find that things came up in my life, like divorce and sickness, and when I went through it pastors and church people were supportive at first. However as things went on it appears that my response in the midst of things somehow changed things, and we are no longer really on the same page. You brought up the point that some feel as though it's no longer worthwhile, and that there is a lack of trust.
Currently, things in my life are complicated and I have made attempts to connect with pastors/churches, but there really seems to be a very big gap between what is valued. Pastors have their responsibilites to their congregations, and people have their lives, so church is really a time that they come to get teaching and encouragement that speaks to them. At the end of the day, I just feel as though I can't ignore the hardtimes, and really haven't found a church to share in the good times.
Your apology was appreciated. Most haven't deliberately tried to cause any hurt or pain. Truthfully, people sometimes just seem to see the same truths differently after a personally tragedy, and reconnection once they have pressed through can take time.